Learning to Pause Mentally Changed My Life - Brainbow Kids

Learning to Pause Mentally Changed My Life

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I was working late and wanted to watch something on TV before I rested for the day. I decided to look for a short film and this is what I found.
On Disney+ a short film titled “Far from the tree”. It was 7 minutes long. But I spent 45 minutes journaling and reflecting on it after the movie:)

The movie had no speech but it hit me hard as this is what I am working on myself; Rewiring my brains. Reparenting they call it.

The story is about a racoon who is trying to relearn old patterns. The young racoon represents us when we were younger, how our parents tried to keep us safe. How we were labelled and not allowed to explore or express ourselves because it’s bad but they never explained to us. Then, the young racoon grows up to become a parent and repeats the pattern. Until he became self aware, he paused.

The pause changed the racoon and his child’s life. He saw the world through his child’s eyes. This pause changed my life too.

I had my baby after a long time, the process of getting pregnant was lengthy, it was years. We tried everything from IVF to Chinese medicine. My daughter Vaishnavi was a miracle, all our children are a miracle. We have expectations for the miracle. We also crave to keep them safe, design their life path and expect them to be “good” children.

This was my life changing moment. One evening, it was a long day. When my daughter was a couple months old and I was alone at home attending to a screaming baby who I had just breastfed. I was feeling frustrated but didn’t know about asking for help or just feeling my feelings. I had the urge to knock her head on the door panel as I walked into her room carrying her. I paused. I put her down and spoke to myself. I asked myself, where did this thought come from ?

I called my husband who was on his way back from work and told him that I needed help. I don’t know what but there is something wrong with me. I longed for this child, why would I want to hurt her?

We threw away books like “what to expect”, “from birth till 5” and looked up respectful parenting. We learned about growth spurt. We hired help even though I wasn’t working. After a couple of months, my husband got laid off from his job and it all worked out for a reason. We focused on what’s important at that time.

I became more interested in RIE Parenting and Emotional Intelligence. I learned and got myself certified. I practised what I learned at home. Emotional Intelligence is a journey, you will have your setback days. I had mine during the first Covid lockdown. I met people like Dr Mugil from Aligned Life and have good friends who guide me spiritually. I always bounce forward. I built Resilience.

For our children, this is all new. They do not have any negative biases from their brain filter. “A whole new world” is what we are given when we become parents. It’s an opportunity to re-parent ourselves. We get caught in the rat race and forget to live in the moment.

Let your child build their own internal GPS. Be there for them when they fail. Be there for them when they celebrate. Share life experiences with them but do not instil fear. Look at them with curiosity. There is so much to learn from our children.

Explore your Internal GPS through Leave a Mark, Not a Scar Project
Watch the video here https://youtu.be/CBHhNd3JWsA
Purchase the project here https://brainbow-kids.com/product-category/brainbow-box/

Love what Disney is doing. Both its latest, ‘Encanto’ and ‘Far from the tree look’ at family dynamics through a different lens.

Nandhini Sivanna

Nandhini Sivanna

Nandhini Sivanna is an ISEI certified coach. She is the founder of Brainbow Kids. Brainbow Kids builds resilient children through EQ practices via art craft and storytelling.

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