Last week a close relative of mine passed on and I attended her funeral. I haven’t met or seen many of my extended family members for nearly 2 years.
After a couple of days, my mum called. She said that many asked why I wasn’t wearing any earrings or chain. As an Indian, wearing earrings and a wedding chain is a symbol of wealth and happiness. Many childhood memories came back hitting me hard, all the labels I was given; thin, bones, picky eater, sick, stubborn, angry. At the age of 40, I was disappointed that I still receive messages about physical appearance and labels.
In January, we discussed Feelings and what to do with them? Everyone has emotions but not everyone is able to express their feelings.
When you are feeling angry, let it out.. Breathe it out, punch it out
Everything comes out in your hand. Do something.
When you are feeling sad, cry it out. Hug someone you trust.
I discussed the following situation to Brainbow SuperPowerMe students.
I feel happy when mum cooks my favourite food.
When mum doesn’t cook my favourite food, it means she is angry with me.
Is this true? How do I find out?
Should I ask my friend? Should I ask my dog?
I should talk to my mum. Most kids were not sure about talking to their mum about feelings. So I decided to take that route.
I spoke to my mum. She did not say anything but I told her if she is going to pass me a message, I hope she can filter those messages that will benefit me.
I explained that I see beauty in someone’s eyes and soul. I don’t care what they wear, if they care about how I am dressed, that’s their opinion.
I also reminded her that it’s time that she accepted me for who I am. I am a person who doesn’t like accessories as I am sensitive to the extra weight my body carries. I wear light cotton clothes. It makes me feel light and calm.
It feels good talking things out. It feels good to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I am 40. I am healing one day at a time. I do not want to pass on these wounds to my daughter.
Don’t let the labels define your children. Embrace their uniqueness and learn how to coexist beautifully with it instead of always fighting against it. Every child has a special set of traits and skills and natural abilities that make them truly unique in this world. But in order for those special skills to be brought to their full potential, we have to actually allow that child to be who they truly are. When we ask them to suppress their instincts and ignore their interests for the sake of conformity and ease for the adults in their lives, we cannot expect them to use their skills as they are meant to.
Are you doing everything you can to embrace your child as they truly are?